Sorry, Jim. No such luck.

Maybe a more tolerable distraction will help?

Across the aisle, a few rows up, from a preacher and an overdressed young woman:

"But Father, do you mean unless an innocent receives communion, they're destined to go to Hell?"

"Ah-"

"That hardly seems fair."

The preacher holds a hand up. "What I mean to say, Jenny, is that there is a great deal of difference between an innocent - and a savage."

"I never thought of it that way."

And from the pair of old ladies:

"Yes, they lived like animals. But they're happier now."