Jim's eyes widen in mock surprise. "Why, me, sir? If so, I'm afraid there's nothing I can do. These are Fritos, you see. A food which quite reliable sources describe as as 'crunchtastic' and 'unkommonly krispy.'"

He takes another conspicuously noisy bite.

"Do you see what I mean, sir?"

Needless to say, he has a shit-eating grin on his face right now.